The End Justifies The Means

I know I’m several days late on this, but it’s the first chance I’ve had to write. The Volume 2 finale of Heroes left me with a handful of questions - 1. Can Adam, Claire or Peter regenerate a body if their heads are severed?2. Will they “reboot” if a bullet to the brain (which renders them “dead”) is removed?3. Why did Mohinder save Maya? Ugh.4. Back to Adam and his apparently immortality – is the healing genetic code a recessive trait? Surely Adam has spread his seed through the centuries, but so far we’ve only met three who have the ability to regenerate. And really, only two, since Peter can only do it because he met Claire.5. What would a child of Peter’s be like?  Anyway, Noah traded his freedom for the chance to let his family know he was alive again. Sylar got some of Claire’s blood (the arsenal Mohinder had on him to take to Niki, who unfortunately, it seems, bought it in a building explosion trying to save Monica, who was trying to steal back Micah’s comics that his greedy cousin got stolen in the first place, ugh, what a mess) and Sylar got his powers back. Sucks to be anyone in his path.Except, perhaps, Peter, Adam and Claire. Unless he got ahold of their brains. But just cutting open their heads, I doubt that would get them.But, how about Angela Petrelli, showing her true Machiavellian colors? And really, what IS her power? Aside from being stone cold and apparently dead inside, I mean. I guess we’ll find out during Volume 3, Villains.Assuming the writers get their money. 

Bad Never Looked So…Sarky.

Absolute craziness. HRG got regenerated, thanks to Mohinder dosing him with Claire’s blood. He wasn’t happy to learn that Claire’s blood was in The Company’s possession.Sylar taught Maya how to control her runny mascara death power. Yawn. I miss scary and creepy Sylar. This is just sorta creepy Sylar pretending to be straight to get to the powers of the Wonder Twins. Alejandro is no more, thankfully. But ew, watching Sylar play it straight and kissing Maya.Adam and Peter found the mysterious Victoria Pratt. She looked like Anne Hathaway when she was younger, if you wondered. She was a biochemist who created the mutated strains of the Shanti virus.And we still don’t know what exactly it is Angela Petrelli can do. Or her late husband.Micah’s greedy cousin decided he’d try to get a price quote on Micah’s comics from some neighborhood punks. Except they beat him up and stole his backpack, which had DL’s medal in it. Oops. Monica decided to dress like St. Joan and be a hero, which never works out well for those akin to DL. She got beat up and thrown into a van by some dudes sent to burn down the building where the thieves lived. Oh yeah, and Hiro went to the 70’s to find out why Adam got locked up and where the virus was. Ando took a nap.Showdown in Odessa, when Peter and Adam come to blows with Hiro and his sword. Who’s good? Who’s evil?Who can concentrate, what with Peter and Adam in so many scenes together?Anyways, next week, HRG reveals himself to the rest of the Bennets and two heroes will die and the chapter closes. Oh and Sylar gets his powers back. I hope he eats Maya’s brain. And Elle. Sorry, Veronica Mars, go solve a mystery somewhere else.

Another Weird Hour with McNamara-Troy.

Last night, in usual Nip/Tuck fashion, was…well, weird. But how awesome is Dawn Budge? I was worried she might bust her stitches when she visited the set of Hearts and Scalpels, but alas, I was spared that gross. Getting hit by the light was almost overkill. Falling in love with the gayer than the gayest thing I can imagine show creator was pretty amusing. Death by ice lady was kind of freaky. No, very freaky, not just kinda. Who am I kidding? And then Christian following that by feeling up the nun who came to him for a reduction…well, I’d say it’s a new low, but it’s not. For him, at least. Eden is perhaps the grossest character this show has ever presented. She’s just evil, not misguided like so many others who do bad things. Tormenting poor Annie to the point of her being expelled from school for doing things I didn’t even know existed when I was 14 (but I was 14 at a different time, and apparently what Annie was doing is pretty commonplace for middle schoolers nowadays), well, it was just sad.And the Kate storyline – just needs to end. Break up, don’t get married to avoid falling to Eden’s temptations. Plus, girl has some issues that you cannot solve, even with a trip to Whole Foods. Also, the Ass Bandit? Is he the new season’s Carver? So much more comical potential, but I have to wonder if this isn’t loosely based on something that actually happened somewhere at some point.And to think – all this time I thought stool samples were collected in the same manner as urine samples. Who knew? 

Why The Writers’ Strike Needs To End. Soon.

Tina Fey needs to keep working.

Craziness. And Some Other Stuff.

So, Noah is dead. And his horn-rimmed glasses are broken. The Company has Claire’s blood and Hiro knows Adam/Kensei killed his father. Hiro could try to avenge Kaito’s death, but Adam can’t be killed, so…yeah.At least he isn’t looking for a six-fingered man. Also, Matt realized he could plant ideas/command thoughts in people, so he started using that trick. And Elle is Company Bob’s daughter. And we learned of a Victoria Pratt. We know nothing aside from that Angela Petrelli made a promise to her to not tell anyone about her. And West became un-creepy, and even helped out Noah by helping Claire. Aw. Not a lot happened in this episode, but the little that did happen was wild.  Especially at the end where they used Claire’s blood to bring Noah back to life.I gasped. And then made an animal-like noise when I saw the previews for the next few episodes. I do hope the writers’ strike ends soon, as a lot of story arcs this season are pretty interesting. 

No, No, No

So, in lieu of listening to lunch hour radio during my errands this afternoon, I flipped to the CD player in my car. Turns out I had Amy Winehouse spinning.

Matt McNamara has ruined “Rehab” for me. I really liked that song…until last night when I watched Matt and Kimber smoking crack (no joke here) and having HBO-style sex to the song. I mean, I get the juxtaposition, but couldn’t they have picked a less-pervasive song? I’d have chosen the Derek and the Dominos’ version of “Layla” or even the Stone’s “Let It Bleed.” Right?

Anyways, Julia and Christian did it, again, and while he was getting all emotionally gooey, she got up and left. Yowza. But she’s not that into Olivia, either. And Oliva’s daughter, Eden? She scares me. Not in the same way she scares Sean, but because of the way she scares Sean. Almost painful to watch her manipulate everyone. And the way she spoke to Annie? Horrible. And while I’m on that, why didn’t Sean mention the fat comments Eden made about Annie to Julia or Olivia? Viable reason to not want Annie to stay with them, hello. But, plot device, so whatever.

I wish Sean would dump Kate. He wants to pretend like he’s not like Christian, but in a way, he’s worse. Christian puts everything out there – you know he’s a jerk. Sean is an undercover jerk. He’ll be riding (metaphorically and literally) Eden soon. Just like with the nanny last season.

An Open Letter to Tyra Banks

Dear Tyra,

You have a successful (and entertaining, to my surprise, since I’m not a huge fan of the genre) reality show; you’ve also had quite a successful career as a model. I even liked Higher Learning and your stint on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

I even, at times, enjoy your talk show. But I think it’s time you slowed down a bit. Take a step back and look at what you’re doing with that talk show.

I know you love Oprah. It’s evident each time you appear on her show. And it’s natural to want to emulate someone you hold in a high regard, both professionally and personally. However –

You are not Oprah. You, are Tyra.

And there’s nothing wrong with being Tyra. Tyra is – as you often say – fierce. But Oprah, she is not fierce. She is Oprah – at times her own adjective.

Because you’re not Oprah, when you have a show about the vagina, let’s say, it doesn’t print the same way an Oprah show about the vagina (or poo) would. Instead of “Wow, that was an informative hour of television” viewers are left with, “Oh no she didn’t.”

You’re better than “Oh no she didn’t,” Tyra. And you know this.

So, please, please, for the sake of your viewing audience, maybe wait awhile for the choochie-paloozas. Afterall, it was almost 20 years before Oprah did a show about poo and not much less before she had a vagina show. Also, Dr. Debbie is no Dr. Hilda. Next time, try to get Laura Berman for your guest panel.

For now, stick to shows about helping teenage girls find their inner fierce, or choosing the right bra.

Sincerely,

The Channel Surfer

P.S. – No more puppets. Please.

All Those Months Ago

Four months ago, I was…well, I don’t recall what I was doing four months ago. What month was that? July? I was swimming and reading and sleeping and watching TV. So, same as now, minus the swimming. But four months ago in the Heroesverse, well, a lot went down.

Peter exploded and cooked Nathan to extra-crispy, but not before catching him and taking him to the hospital. And then he got caught by Company Bob. DL lived and all was well for the Sanders. And Peter met Adam and Elle. Sort of, on the Adam part.

Two months ago, Nathan was still crispy and other stuff happened. Maya killed everyone at Alejandro’s wedding. Including his cheating bride.

A month ago, Niki became Gina and ran off to LA and did lines of coke in a club, DL got shot (and died for real this time), Peter and Adam escaped from the Company Asylum, healed Nathan and got found out by The Haitian and Elle. The Haiatian handcuffed Peter in a box and wiped his memory clean.

Today Peter found Adam in Montreal. Reunited and it feels so good (it doesn’t look too bad, either). And now they’re going to save the world.

And next week a lot more goes down.

I should note that every episode of Heroes ends the same way for me – I scream (out loud) and then say, “What happens next week?!?”

A Search String By Any Other Name…

Well, it just wouldn’t be a weird. I actually typed the search terms “tyra banks vagina puppet” into Google this evening to show my pseudo-boyfriend a clip of a recent Tyra Banks Show that featured, well…a vagina puppet.

If you don’t believe me, click on the link and see for yourself. I can’t make up something like that. Nor would I want to.

Drain the Cheerleader, Save the World.

So…Sark is actually Adam Monroe. Which means he was never Kensei? Maybe? Or does this mean someone like Claire never dies? And what, for the love of everything, is Angela Petrelli’s power?

In other news, Pa Parkman got out-nightmared by Matt, which means Molly woke up. And Niki injected the virus in her arm, only to learn that the strain of the virus she has is immune to Mohinder’s blood cure. Mohinder learns Claire is his only hope and he’s issued a gun, lest Bennett refuse to give Claire up for blood mining to save the world.

Which brought one of Isaac’s last paintings to fruition. Which might bring another to fruition – the one where Bennett is dead. Unfortunate.

The highlight of the episode? Peter in quarantine = Peter in a garbage can getting hosed down. Shirtless. Peterlicious. Tasty, tasty.

Okay, I have to go visit dreamland before the image of Peter Petrelli dripping wet and shirtless leaves my brain. Sweet dreams are made of this, indeed.