The Other is Gold…

This week on The Hills, we learned that, although Audrina is like, an awesome roommate, it’s tough to replace the hole in Lauren’s heart left by Heidi. Aw. That’s true friendship, no sarcasm intended.

We also learned that JustinBobby (no space intended) is a complete flake. Or a douche. Or both, but who cares? One day, all of these girls will look back at the reruns and sigh loudly, wondering how they could have ever been so stupid when it came to relationships. Or they are completely unaware, and then ignorance would be bliss.

Props to Ma and Pa Montag for wanting Heidi to not tie herself down to Spencer and to perhaps reconsider her friendship with Lauren.

And a special shout-out to the SECOND crazy eyes look Spencer got when discussing why he’s so against Lauren. Ah, a leopard will always show his spots.

They Didn’t Even Use A New Font

So, last night I caught the new episode of Newport Harbor. I’d figured this show as the replacement for Laguna Beach, but I figured MTV might, at the very least, use a new theme song. Nope, Hillary Duff is still coming clean for the credits. Same font, too. So…the difference? The high school and city name.

Whatever, this is Laguna Beach, season four. Isn’t Newport Harbor still part of Orange County? Even if it’s not, it’s still a show about affluent teenagers with too much time and too much eagerness to get naked with each other.

I have no idea what happened, though, except for a cancelled putt-putt date. And two girls got manicures. I’m sure I’ll catch a repeat somewhere.

They’re Not Decisions, They’re Surprises

Guys With Two First Names…usually can’t be trusted.

Another episode of The Hills has come and gone. What made it awesome-ish was that Heidi gave Spencer a “surprise” in a similar vain; she painted over his “beautiful mural” (the graffiti-styled Hollywood he had splashed across one of “so many” walls in their new apartment). Because, really, how ready to get married is the guy who, when getting a table is suggested, he assume pool table? And then later brings home a “vintage” arcade game? Yeah.

Audrina’s dating a drip named Justin. Or Bobby. Justin-Bobby, if you’re nasty. Or confused. He’s…so…mellow…and…he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him. How can someone exude confidence(?) and still have no expression? It’s a talent.

Next week, Heidi takes Spencer home to CO to meet the parents, who want Heidi to remain friends with LC (and hopefully advise her to dump Spencer).

Who’s placing guesses on how long it takes Heidi to speak out about being a battered woman? Did you see the straight out of a Lifetime movie-expression on Spencer’s face when he saw Heidi painting the wall? It was Gremlin-licious.

Taking Orders

I’m taking requests for shows to highlight on this site. I’ll give you the list of shows I watch already, and you can fill in things you’d like to get my take on.

30 Rock
Heroes
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Nip/Tuck
How I Met Your Mother (new this season for me)
The Hills
Newport Harbor (new this season, for me and MTV)
Scrubs
The Office
My Name Is Earl

Incidentally, I’m contemplating buying a Tivo box and service. I can’t get DVR service through my cable provider, so Tivo is the only way I can go.

Should I do it? It’s kind of a pricey commitment to make.

Leave your comments.

And That’s The Story Of…

I hate CBS, this is no secret to those who know me. I have, however, had to journey to the dark side to see one of my new favorite shows. “New favorite” as opposed to “new” favorite, because come September, it will be in its third season. It’s How I Met Your Mother. Catch up on what you missed in season two on Mondays at 8pm and sometimes again at 9:30pm, ET.

Why HIMYM is awesome:

1. Neil Patrick Harris. His character, Barney, is the most awesome lothario you hope to never meet as a single woman, but he’s so charmingly hilarious, you’re willing to laugh with him. Or at him, depending on the circumstance.

2. Allyson Hannigan. Because she’s kind of like her American Pie band geek character, Michelle. Except she’s a kindergarten teacher on this show. And there’s no threat of vampires or the undead or a big hole swallowing up the city. But an appearance by Seth Green would be welcomed.

3. Ted Moseby: Architect.

4. Marshall’s love of all things girly, from fruity cocktails to brunch.

5. Robin’s hair. And her sense of humor (which she uses, just a bit, as an emotional shielf.

6. Wayne Brady, as Barney’s gay brother.

7. The meta-humor.

Watch it. Love it. Buy it on Amazon.com.

Going Under Down Under

First, let me say that I realize I am not the target demographic for, well, anything on MTV. I’m not sure what the cutoff age is, but I think it’s somewhere around 23, 25 being generous. That said, it’s no wonder I stopped really enjoying The Real World after the Chicago season.

Chicago was season 11, if you were wondering.

We’re in Sydney for season 19. Season 19. Yeah.

Each season sort of promises its own, teeny surprise. Each surprise becomes first episode fodder for subsequent seasons. The first-night hook-up started with Vegas, the first-night drunken…haze began with like the Hawaii season or something. Whatever. This left me wondering, what could they possibly do this season to make it stand out from the others? Aside from it being in a foreign country…again (see London, Paris, underpants…hee).

Being over the target age demographic, I find myself staring at the roomates (mostly the women) in horror. And then wondering how embarrassed their parents are as they watch the episodes. Probably. And I wonder if I ever acted in such a manner when I was under the age of 25. Likely. But I know I had friends around to keep me in check (and I never forgot my underwear on a night out…how does this happen?). But these girls don’t have friends, they have roommates.

So what was the surprise this season? One of the roommates, Parisa, is a 21-year old college graduate. She graduated early. To begin her singing career. She’s quite serious. And, while she might get on my nerves in future episodes, she’s currently a favorite because she thinks her other female roommates are annoying stereotypes.

And she doesn’t even try to hide it.

The Channel Surfer, she is proud tonight. And, to be a little bit Bill Cosby, I’m going to call for all young women to do the following:

1. Stop drinking so much beer. It makes you fat. The less beer you drink, the better you will look in that bikini/halter top/mini skirt/whatever. Trust me. Cutting out beer (and McDonald’s) will be the easiest diet of your life.
2. Stop smoking. It will make you look 55 by the time you’re 35. It’s not attractive, no matter what that drunk guy at the bar last night told you. It’s also expensive. Spend the money you save on a new pair of shoes.
3. Stop being so promiscuous. Sex and the City was a TV show based on a novel. You know, fiction.
4. While we’re on the topic of fiction, read a book or two between issues of US Weekly and InTouch.
5. Don’t wear thongs all the time. It’s just not healthy.
6. Don’t steal another girl’s boyfriend. If you can steal him from her, he’ll be stealable from you, too.
7. Keep your skirt down and your underwear up. If you don’t make it easy, guys will stop acting like they’re entitled to it.

Okay, soapbox down. Seriously, though, Parisa can’t really be 21.

Another Reason To Look Forward To Fall TV

I just read this notice on FX’s site. New episodes coming in September.

Fall Season, Coming Soon

And I’m not terribly excited about that.

Of course, I’m looking forward to the return of my new favorites from last season, Heroes, 30 Rock and Ugly Betty; in addition to The Office and Scrubs. I’m also interested to see what became of Edie on Desperate Housewives. Is she replacing Mary Alice as the newest voice of knowledge on the block?

I’ll miss Gilmore Girls, but Gossip Girl, if done properly, should provide a nice distraction from that Tuesdays at 8pm hole in my TV schedule. I have no idea when it airs, though.

I’ve spent the summer watching mostly reruns. The OC on SoapNet, 30 Rock and The Office and Ugly Betty, that sort of thing.

What about you? Is there something you’re excited about for the fall season, or just anxious to get back to old favorites?